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i am just a copy of a copy of a copy

I'm pretty sure I've been having a bit of a midlife crisis; typical 40-year-old behavior, I guess. I keep feeling plagued by the thought that somehow every time I've made a decision it must have been the wrong one, and it was making it increasingly hard to make any decisions. Something about turning 40, it hit me in a way that it's never really have before that I can't go back and change anything - this is all I've got and it's probably about half over. There were at least a few days there, when I was unemployed, where I did nothing. I mean, not even really get out of bed - just lay there all day weirdly immobilized by abstract fear of all the trouble leaving the house could get me in. I know none of this is rational. But trying to reconcile what you feel with what you know can be an exercise in futility.

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( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
scentedwoods
Sep. 13th, 2013 01:48 pm (UTC)
My decision making ability is the first thing that goes out the window when my antidepressants aren't cutting it anymore.

When does your new job start?
jwright_71673
Sep. 13th, 2013 11:30 pm (UTC)
Just finished my third day - happy Friday! :-)

It came together really fast. I met with OfficeTeam last week and they basically reactivated my account. They said they were working on something that might work out for me. They call on Monday and are like "They want to do a phone interview - will you be available 10 minutes from now?" So I do that and by the end of the day they call and go "If they were to offer you the position would you accept?" I'm like, "Sure!" And then they had me start on Wednesday. I think my timing was just really good.

The first day was typical - confusing and they kind of throw too much stuff at you. By the second day I was already kind of getting back in the groove of things. Pretty much immediately I was sleeping a lot better.
scentedwoods
Sep. 14th, 2013 02:42 am (UTC)
I'm free on Tuesday, wanna bowl?
jwright_71673
Sep. 14th, 2013 02:50 am (UTC)
Sure!
scentedwoods
Sep. 14th, 2013 03:27 am (UTC)
Tell me where and when and I'll be there.
jwright_71673
Sep. 15th, 2013 08:23 pm (UTC)
Is Park Tavern okay? I just called them and their leagues don't start 'till next month so we should be able to get a lane easy enough. I should be able to get there straight from work by 5, 5:30 or so.
scentedwoods
Sep. 16th, 2013 04:42 pm (UTC)
Sounds good. I'll be there closer to 5:30.
(Deleted comment)
jwright_71673
Sep. 13th, 2013 11:32 pm (UTC)
I did! I made a Facebook announcement late Monday, I think. I started on Wednesday.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )

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