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Part I

Here for no good reason is my work history, beginning with my first job:

Cook @ Barnacle Bills Steak & Seafood, in Brooklyn Center: Technically, I started as a busboy but was promoted to cook as soon as they realized I generally managed to show up. This, by far, was the most glamorous job I've ever had as well as the hardest I've ever worked. You'd never know it now, but in the late 80s/early 90s Barnacle Bills was on a wait every Friday and Saturday night from around 4:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. I would have hundreds of tickets at a time - double broiler overloaded with steak, six different things going on at the stove, and everything had to come up at the right time and it all had to be good. Initially (11th and 12th grade mostly) we had a great crew. In later years, I got to work with alcoholics, dudes on the work release program, and so on. What a great time. I worked there all through high school (logging way more hours than they probably should've legally given me) and off and on throughout college.

Student Worker @ Gage Cafeteria, in Mankato: Firstly, how many people actually get to see a place they worked at for four years blow up? Seeing Gage Towers collapse filled me with a myriad of emotions, a few of which I'm not sure I'm entirely comfortable with. Anyway, back in 1992 I capitalized on my restaurant experience to transition into cafeteria work during my time at Mankato State. My favorite job by a long shot was the one where you just sit there at the door scanning student ID cards; you have to put in your time before you get this job, I think I was in my fourth year before I scored it. Technically you weren't supposed to, but it seemed like you always ate for free. Like, when they're dumping out all the food at the end of the night what's the difference if a few chicken patties get dumped down my throat, right? Dishroom was the worst job - sharing a room with an industrial strength dish cleaner while all the horrifying things college kids do with their food go parading by you on a conveyor belt. I worked on the "burger line" quite often, grilling up hockey puck burgers for hungry football players; I used to be recognized as "the burger dude" at house parties. "Beverage runner" was also pretty great - you ran around with a cart full of bags of milk and the syrup that somehow turns into Coke and whatnot making sure nothing out there ran dry. It was a little like a video game from the 80s. I used to dream of spiking the orange juice machine with vodka during my (ill-advised) morning shifts.

News Editor @ Mankato State Reporter: I never wanted this job. I started as a staff writer after I'd decided to major in journalism. From there I went to Copy Editor and Assistant News Editor. There was a bit of trouble with the News Editor at the time; honestly I can't remember much and I'm sure neither can he, if you get my meaning. Generally, this was a fun place to work but I moved up the ladder way more than I was comfortable with - I mean, I can't be in charge of anything, right?? I got super good at this old Mac game called Maelstrom during my tenure there - an Asteroids clone that you could download Star Wars graphics and sound effects for. I still play it.

Claims Examiner @ Prudential Financial, in Plymouth, MN: Other than a depressing "let's just see how low I can get" six months where I returned to Barnacle Bills post-college while living in Mom's basement and drinking ALL THE BEERS, this was my first "real" job. In the 80s, it seems life insurance companies successfully swindled their clients by guaranteeing dividends would remain high enough to fund the additional insurance they were selling them. Things did not go as planned. Eventually, a class action lawsuit resulted in the need to throw a bunch of temps into cubes over in Plymouth and get to the bottom of things, which is where I came in. This is the job I was at when "Office Space" was released, and for that I will always sort of love it. RIP Alleygators (which was right across the street).

Good grief, I guess I'll continue this later...


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 27th, 2013 03:41 am (UTC)
This makes a good meme, I should post my jobs.
Sep. 27th, 2013 04:06 am (UTC)
So far it's been equal parts fun and horrifying.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )


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